another moral hangover. fuck.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
