I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
