Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
