i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize