So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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