if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
