i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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