Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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