And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
