I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
