My friends, they love my intelligence
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
