If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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