We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
