you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
