You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
