Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
