he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
