I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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