This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the day after is always just damage control
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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