is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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