she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
