i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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