she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
