scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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