scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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