well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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