I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
