it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
