If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
