I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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