Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
