I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
