i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
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and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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