He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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