My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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