can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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