um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The struggles of a small town man whore
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
