I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
