3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize