i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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