It's like God shit irony all over that family
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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