Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
