I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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