I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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