I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
