Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
