I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize