There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
FUCK WHALES
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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