I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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