They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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