I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
