Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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