Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it glows. i had to have it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
