Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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