billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
