Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
