Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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