I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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