I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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