i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
