i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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