This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We left an ass print on the piano.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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