I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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