you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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