Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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