my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
40s are totally the cure
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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