After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize