I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
