For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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